All for Laura
by El loopy
Summary: Musical based. A collection of oneshots all dedicated to Laura. Chapter 4 - Secrets.
1. Prisoner

All for Laura

1. Prisoner

Laura sat in the hard bed in her cell with her arms wrapped around her body as if to protect herself from what was happening and offer a degree of comfort, minimal though it was.

A shiver ran through her body and she clutched her thin arms around her tighter, but she had long since given up trying to keep warm. The single blanket in her cell was draped over her shoulders and scratched roughly against her bare skin where the bruises were finally beginning to fade. Laura ran the thin fabric of her dress through her fingers and closed her eyes.

How many times had Anne done the same thing?

The white had faded to a dirty grey and was severely ragged along the hem, even torn in some places. Laura rubbed at the cotton just to feel something soft.

There was no light in the cell. Everything was dark and cold and death. She was breathing in a tomb. The living dead. A shudder passed through her and she pressed her forehead against her knees, shutting her eyes to try and close herself off.

The nightmare was never-ending. Days and nights passed as one. It was an eternal cycle of nothing. She wasn't living and nor was she dead.

Laura didn't cry. Her tears no longer came.

There was nothing for her to do. She had long since walked the entire length and breadth of the tiny cell. Her fingers had brushed over the rough stone walls and memorised every crack and crevice. The only smell was the cold, damp air as it stirred around the small space. The only thing she could do was think and she was as much trapped in a prison of her own thoughts as in the one of stone and metal. Scenes from her past replayed over again and again. Things she could've done. Things she should have done. In this dark place all her worst memories arose to tear her apart inside; Walter leaving, her marriage to Glyde, the beatings, the…nights sharing his bed. Thoughts that made her sick. Memories she wished with all her heart she could forget. A sane person could go mad here, and that's what she felt she was doing, slowly descending into madness. She could almost imagine she saw Anne's presence drifting around her cell in a ghostly white dress, muttering to herself about a secret that Laura had missed out on knowing, a secret to bring Glyde down. The thought tormented her.

As she teetered on the edge of the void that led to insanity the only thing that pulled her back from being engulfed in darkness were her happier memories. She used them to push back the pain filled ones. Memories of her and Marian as children playing, as teenagers whispering in each others confidences under the sheets at night, the giggles, the laughter. She remembered Walter's arrival the most, before the bitterness between her and Marian, before she fell in love with him. She replayed the sunshine filled scenes of the three of them together, picnics and drawing with her two favourite people in the world. Occasionally she allowed herself to dwell on the first little while as she started to fall in love with Walter. The sweetness. The freshness. His adoring kisses. Yet only once in a while, for soon those scenes became mired in shadows and careened towards an unhappy ending she couldn't escape from. These memories pushed back the others. They were searing sweet and almost painful in her longing to relive them again, to go back to before. Such was her life now that she had to turn to them or else she felt she would die. To live only in those happy memories were like living inside a dream, a fantasy, a mere shadow of reality and was, in itself, a kind of madness but reality was so harsh and desolate that she couldn't bear not to. Every time she emerged the hopelessness of her situation would strike her again so hard the air fled from her lungs and she felt panic invade her, strangling her. That was when Glyde would come leering at her out of the black and she'd scream for the dark memories to go away, weep for the bliss of the long past, of happier times.

Time passed as Laura stayed trapped in the Asylum in the physical and in her mind.

The times she emerged made her yearn to disappear back into them, made her wish she'd sleep and sleep and never wake up. She could not tell whether this was worse then being with Glyde or not, the two were so similar. She had suffered so many months of darkness now that she was losing hope of ever being happy again, or ever smiling or laughing. Life was just passing from one horrific stage to another and every night she prayed for rescue to come.

Then one day it finally did…


	2. Dream Away

**Disclaimer: Italics are lines from the musical. Characters obviously not mine.**

**A/N Warning: Implied rape**

* * *

2. Dream away

'_If I could only dream this world away  
I'd awake  
In your arms  
I long to sleep forever  
Dreaming only of you  
I'm lost  
How many nights like this can I go through?'_

Laura lay in the bed and smiled. The room was filled with light from the sun streaming in through the window, though she could not feel the warmth. Everything in the room was still, as dust motes danced in the golden light. The perfect white linen that lay softly over her made her feel relaxed and at ease. There was nothing that could harm her here, she was safe. She slowly became aware of a familiar presence in the room and happiness flooded through her, settling over her like the molten gold of the sun.

"Walter," she breathed as he stood in the doorway. Slowly he entered with a look of perfect serenity on his face. His eyes swam with love for her as she'd seen so many times before.

"Laura, my Angel, my love," he took her delicate hand in his own paint stained ones and kissed her fingers. Laura giggled as though she were innocent again and held his hand tight, refusing to let go. Walter eased himself down onto the bed next to her and started to whisper. The words merged into one so she couldn't tell what he was saying but she knew it was good things. Peace settled over her and she felt Walter running a strand of her silken hair through his fingers. The words had stopped.

"I love you," he told her earnestly, hovering just above her, and then his mouth covered hers. Laura melted under him as she savoured the long kiss…

----------

A door crashed open and Laura leapt awake with a start.

Glyde staggered over the threshold. Even in her half sleep like state - feeling the sudden, familiar, clenching fear in her stomach and the familiar aching emptiness of the dreams departure - she knew what he had come for.

The blow to her face was stinging and knocked her back down, leaving her breathless. She stayed still as Glyde roughly took what was his by marriage and then rolled over and fell asleep in a drunken stupor on her bed.

Laura shuddered and moved away from him. Slowly she rearranged her nightgown and curled herself up into a ball; hands clenched tight, arms wrapped around her protectively. The tears flowed down her cheeks as she thought about trying to hide the new bruise and as she tried to ignore the painful ache inside her. The room was dark and cold, all harsh stone and dead silence, broken only by the occasional snore of Glyde.

Laura shut her eyes against the world and tried once again to summon up the dream of Walter, the only time when she was truly happy.

* * *


	3. Cuckoo child

3. Cuckoo Child

Walter stared at Laura's belly with such loathing he did not think it was possible for one man to contain it all at once. He was forced from the room by Marian as another judder of pain wracked Laura's body, but he barely noticed. He was so focused on his wife, his love, in agonising pain. The sharpest knife of them all though, the bitterest weight in his stomach, was that the child which caused her to suffer was not his own.

He shot one final piercing glare across the room as the door shut with a dull finality in his face.

Walter loved his wife. He loved her dearly, which was why the pregnancy filled him with such revulsion for it would forever be a reminder to him that his sweetheart had been forced to unite with that monster by the iron chains and duty of wedlock. What his wife now laid birthing would no longer let him deny or suppress what he never wished to think about. He had tried to hide his feelings for her benefit. He had supported her and loved her as ever, but only for her, never for the child, and he knew she knew that. It was why Marian were with her now and not him. It was foolish because the child could not help its father, but despite knowing this he could not fully abolish the bitterness he felt, or the anger at the pain his darling suffered now.

The disgusting blood had not yet been wiped from the face of the earth and he knew it probably wouldn't be. He did not wish the child dead, because he knew what that would do to Laura, rather that the child had never been conceived.

The pain filled cries that cut him to the heart were replaced by the pitiful wails of a baby. Walter's chest constricted.

The door opened and Marian appeared in the gap. Her face was flushed and there was a sort of strange happiness glowing in it, but her eyes, when they settled on Walter, were steel and fire. She stepped outside and joined him, clicking the door shut behind her.

"Before you go in there," she said quietly, voice hard, "I want you to remember that this baby is Laura's baby. _Laura's_. She has laboured to bring it alive into this world and she will love it because it is hers, just remember that as you look at the child." Walter nodded shortly and twisting the handle pushed the door open slowly. "Oh, and Walter?" He glanced behind him to meet Marian's eyes. "This baby…it isn't Glyde and if you raise it, it never will be."

Walter stepped into the room and spotted Laura lying there. She looked exhausted…but she looked happy. There was a bundle of blankets in her arm.

As he approached he recalled how he had felt when Laura had broken the news to him and his stomach clenched at the memory. There was the feeling that a hole had opened up inside him and was swallowing him up. The feeling that the ground had crumbled and he had been falling.

Laura looked at him and smiled. Walter gave her a weak smile back and his eyes wandered reluctantly to the baby.

He was shocked, but then, what had he expected to see? A monster? A miniature Glyde? The tiny creature that lay in his wife's arms was so delicate and fragile that he felt an unconscious softening towards it.

"Walter," Laura whispered, "this is our son Matthew."

'Our son'. Not his son. The boy was not his flesh and blood but nevertheless he reached for the baby as Laura held it out to him. He cradled the cuckoo that had been hatched in his nest and it suddenly didn't seem to matter as he gazed into the liquid blue eyes.

Walter lifted his head and met Laura's look. "Matthew," he repeated…and then he smiled. The tension seeped out of Laura's body and she shut her eyes contentedly.

"You'll make a great father," she told him.

Walter held the baby close to his chest and smiled.

"Yes…I will.


	4. Secrets

**A/N Marian and Laura trade sisterly gossip. Pre-musical. Laura is supposed to be about sixteen.** **Some Laura x OC.**

* * *

Secrets

"Laura?" a small voice in the stillness, "are you asleep?"

A rustle of sheets, a whispered reply, "yes."

Silence again.

"What are you thinking about?"

Silence. A giggle.

"Boys."

"I knew it!" Marian sat bolt upright in bed. "What happened? Tell me everything."

Another giggle.

"Nothing happened," Laura replied evasively and burrowed her face in the pillows.

"But it nearly did," Marian said excitedly, kneeling on the mattress. She shook the Laura shaped lump under the covers. "Tell me."

Laura shook her head, pretending to sleep.

Marian paused, "Or maybe it didn't…" she said slyly, "but you wanted something to…" Another pause. "Was it Victor?"

Laura gasped and sat up too.

"How did you know that?"

Marian smiled smugly in the darkness. "I'm your sister. I can tell these things. The extra effort every time you saw him. The blushes."

Laura put her hand to her mouth in horror. "You don't think he can tell do you? I try so hard not to give it away."

'_He'd be a fool if he didn't,'_ Marian thought but did not voice it. Instead she shook her head.

"I'm sure your secret is safe dearest Laura."

She was rewarded with a smile.

"Good," Laura sighed, and relaxed a little. "It would be such a shame if he felt he could not call on us anymore."

Marian looked kindly at her little sister and smiled. She could just remember what her first crush was like.

"So?" she prompted further, trying to draw out the gossip from her giggling sister.

"He is very charming isn't he?" Laura sighed and picking up a pillow hugged it to her chest. "And handsome."

Marian laughed. "Well you would hardly like him if you did not find him so."

"He took me for a walk," she added dreamily, and in an instant Marian felt her stomach drop.

"He did what?" she asked hoarsely.

"He walked me around the garden while you were speaking to his sister inside."

Marian felt her mind whirl. Suddenly the whole situation had taken on a more serious stance than a schoolgirl crush.

"He told me all about London, and about the fashion and drama. It sounds ever so exciting! And he said that I must reserve the first dance for him at the next ball; and when he said so he kissed my hand and told me I was very beautiful. He is quite wonderful Marian."

Marian was processing everything at lightning speed. That her sister should develop an affection for a man some six years her senior was to be expected. That he should be exhibiting signs of returning it was inappropriate.

"Marian? You have gone silent."

The elder sister mentally shook herself and refocused on Laura's worried face.

"You disapprove of my attachment?"

Marian shook her head and forced a smile. It was him she disapproved of.

"No dearest Laura. It is very sweet that you care for him so much. We must invite him and his sister to dine with us soon."

Laura smiled sleepily and lay back down, shutting her eyes.

"That'll be nice."

Marian lay next to her sister in the dark. The rumours of Victor moving away with his family returned to her again and she scrunched the covers with her hands in annoyance at him leading Laura on. She would be heartbroken, Marian knew, but would recover with only a few tears.

There was still no threat towards the as yet secret engagement to Mr Percival Glyde.


End file.
